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Sunday 15 December 2013

10 Bollywood movies of 2013 we wish never came out

Well, its' time. We are winding up the year and various applications such as Youtube, IMDB and so on have already started publishing  their respective reviews on the trends of pop culture that were witnessed in 2013.
India too has a well flourished entertainment business extending across global platforms and it is worth while to hark back and take a peek into how the year was for the Indian entertainment especially Bollywood.

I actually started with the idea of listing out the the good and fairly decent movies which came out during 2013. I wasn't surprised to realize that there were only a handful of them . Allowing this depressing fact to sink in, I began thinking of the movies on which I wasted my money and time for no reason. Jesus Christ!! A stream of names kept popping up quickly and steadily.This called for a change in the topic . So here is the list of  " 10 Bollywood Movies of 2013 which we wished never came out " .

Disclaimer:  The list is actually in chronological order of the movie release as there is no point in deciding the worst among the garbage since all are equally bad.

RACE-2:

Yes! Bollywood actually opened the year with this frustrating head ache. The movie had a promising star cast of Saif Ali Khan, Deepika Padukone  John Abraham, Anil Kapoor and few songs by Pritam which were topping the charts before its release. But still, the whole movie was one huge load of dragon dung. The directors Abbas and Mustan were so fond of twists that they planted the movie with a twist for every 15 minutes.




Well that was actually quite simple. Three characters say A ,B and C were introduced . The creators just played with C's loyalty towards A and B in the name of twists throughout the movie. Adding to the misery of viewers, there were a few scenes which showcased some ground breaking deviations from Newtonian physics like "parachuting an AUDI from a burning plane".


2. HIMMATWALA - There wasn't even enough content in the movie to criticize it. The director proudly remarked that the movie was  to be the biggest blockbuster of the year  during the promotions. He should have learnt his lessons as the movie was forced out of the screens within days of its release.

Yeah! A tiger fights the gundas along with the hero in the movie! Phew!!


3. CHASHME BADDOOR : A remake of the old classic by the same name suffered an embarrassing fate. Apparently,this movie was released along with the digitalized version of the classic chashme badoor(1981). And people opted to catch the old one instead of the modern version which was forcefully stuffed with lame and dumb jokes throughout !




4. RAMAIYA VATSAVAIYA : A movie which is to be skipped even from your DVD lists. This debacle by Prabhu deva had all characteristics that should not be present in a good movie. Shruti Hassan promised to be the only consoling factor in the movie which appeared to be barely watchable. I meant... Shruti Hassan. No, the movie.




 5.ONCE UPON A TIME IN MUMBAAI DOBARA : 

The movie's tagline went as "This time it's personal !" indicating producer Ekta Kapoor's clash with Sharukh Khan and his Chennai Express. It was a personal blow to the producer too with the movie failing miserably at the box office when its contender(Chennai Express)went on to become the highest grossing movie in India.

The movie had no significant content except for pages of incoherent punch dialogues delivered by Akshay Kumar for the sake of being an Underworld Don. Sonakshi Sinha's reactions throughout the movie only made it worse.






6. ZANJEER:  A ridiculously insane attempt disrespecting the original 1973 Amitabh Bachchan classic is what one would say about the movie. A naive,mindless movie where the protagonist's expressions keeps you frustrated all the time. Priyanka Chopra was a marketing element in the movie who could not help stopping the movie from disappearing among the theatre circuits within a week. Not to forget Sanjay Dutt, the most expensive joke in the movie.






7. BESHARAM : Ranbir Kapoor should have been indeed shameless to have chosen this virtually empty and  inane script after being successful with two back to back feel-good movies. Few minutes into the movie and you would have realized that it was not the screenplay that needed to move forward but it was you who should have moved on.






8.BOSS :  Looks like Akshay Kumar would never refrain from giving at least two bad movies in a year. So came the second, within two months of his first fiasco justifying the jinx.I have already squandered enough of my precious time on this movie that I would not prefer wasting  any more of it writing about this junk.






9.KRRISH 3 : The whole movie would have received a very warm welcome had they marketed it as an "Indian Spoof of a Super Hero Movie". Sadly they didn't and the whole movie actually seemed to be a joke.

However the joke was on us for the movie had grossed more than 250 Crores. 






10. R... RAJKUMAR : Prabhu deva returned again within few months of his early disaster only to avenge  the innocent viewers who didn't welcome his earlier venture. Rajkumar was in no way a good movie. Everything about the movie was crass and lecherous. The mindless action sequences makes you go numb. So does the idiosyncratic one liners which are not even slightly funny. In the climax sequence, Shahid Kapoor is stabbed  repeatedly by some uncountable number of stout men after which Shahid manages to survive but we don't. 





In an attempt to end the article on a positive note ..here are a handful of movies that were genuinely good and interesting to watch in 2013.